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Munni had heard older girls whispering about mahina, something that happened to a woman every month. She had an idea what it was, but still she was not prepared for its happening to her. One day she found a spot on her clothes. She knew it was something embarrassing and tried to hide it, but her cousin’s wife noticed it and took her aside. Bhabhi explained to Munni what mahina was and told her how to deal with it....Bhabhi also told Munni never to touch a man or even a woman during her period. She should sit apart from others and not go to religious or social events, because a menstruating woman is considered “dirty” until she takes a full bath five days after the start of her period. After her bath, she can again enter the kitchen, draw water, and resume normal interaction with others. [The Life of Hinduism (LOH), 63]

Unknown to Munni, her parents had already begun making inquiries about her marriage several years before she reached puberty, and they had hoped to have the wedding before the girl “began bathing.” A generation ago, parents who had an unmarried pubescent girl in the house would have been severely criticized, but today villagers are more tolerant of marriages after puberty. Still, the average age of marriage for village girls in the Bhopal area is about eleven, and brides of seven or eight are not unknown in Central India. In 1995 the government of India enacted a law providing legal penalties for those responsible for the marriage of a girl younger than fifteen or a boy younger than eighteen, but this law is widely ignored. Most villagers are ignorant of its existence, and since village marriages are not registered with any government authority, “child marriage” occurs with great regularity throughout the northern half of India. [LOH, 64]

An unarranged “love marriage” is considered by most Indians to be a daring and perhaps ill-fated alternative to an ordinary arranged marriage. Many urban youths who have studied and dated abroad return home to wed mates selected for them by their parents....Intercaste marriages (seldom arranged) occur now with increasing frequency, particularly in cities, but they are still disapproved by the vast majority of Indians. Only in the most Westernized circles, among less than 1 percent of the population, do young couples date and freely choose their own mates. [LOH, 66]

During past centuries, very high castes prohibited widow remarriage, and a widow was sometimes expected to immolate herself on her husband’s funeral pyre. This practice, known as sati, occurred in only a very small percentage of families and was legally abolished over a century ago....Today, reports of satis appear in North Indian newspapers once or twice a year. [LOH, 71]

Widows The common blessing for a woman, ‘May your husband live long’ is self explanatory.  Although the strict code of conduct prescribed for widows is no longer operative in its most restrictive and oppressive aspects, there are certain disabilities associated with widowhood.  She is debarred from active participation in auspicious occasions.  Besides the items of decoration associated with the married state, she is expected to discard colourful clothes, glass bangles, wearing of flowers, and attractive jewelery.  Plain white colour is associated with widowhood, and by implication is forbidden traditionally for Sumangali, i.e., one whose husband is alive.  The widows of Bengal, who abstain from fish, the Kammas and Reddy widows of Andhra Pradesh who give up meat are not yet extinct.  Among the Brahmin and also among such non-Brahmin communities who do not have the custom of widow remarriage, there are a number of ways for restricting the life of a widow so that she gets little pleasure out of life and her natural desires are suppressed. [Willard G. Oxtoby, World Religions: Eastern Traditions [WR], 111] . Oesterle Library: VIDEO 791.43 W29m

Munni spent three more years in the bosom of her family, happily taking part in household and agricultural work and enjoying the frequent festivals observed in the village....Munni knew that her idyll among her natal kin would not last much longer. Many of her friends had already been sent to their husbands’ homes, and Munni too would soon go. Her gauna (consumation ceremony) was set for March. The night before her gauna, Munni’s bhabhi took her aside and told her about sex and what to expect from her husband....Her departure from her parents, grandmother, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and cousins was heartrending. Cling to each in turn, she sobbed piteously and pleaded not to be sent away. They, too, cried as they put her in a small, covered palanquin and saw her borne away by her in-laws....Modesty required that she try to fend him off and succumb only after great protestation (even an experienced girl must feign modesty), but Munni was sixteen at her gauna ceremony, and her introduction to her husband was not traumatic. Some younger girls have been genuinely terrified of their husbands, and their gauna nights have involved virtual rape. [LOH, 71-3]

The Laws of Manu c. 1st Century CE Though destitute of virtue, or seeking pleasure elsewhere, or devoid of good qualities, a husband must be constantly worshipped as a god by a faithful wife. [WR, 107] By a girl, by a young woman or even by an aged one, nothing must be done independently, even in her own house.  In childhood a female must be subject to her father, in youth to her husband, when her lord is dead, to her sons; a woman must never be independent. [WR, 107]  Where women are honoured, there the gods are pleased; but where they are not honoured, no sacred rite yields rewards.  Where the female relations live in grief, the family soon perishes; but that family where they are not unhappy ever prospers.  The houses on which female relations, not being duly honoured, pronounce a curse, perish completely, as if destroyed by magic. [WR, 108-9]